Thursday, April 2, 2009

Guess What I Own?

Originally posted 2/24/06
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I'm always amazed at the things kids say and the names they come up with for things that they don't know the real names for.

I remember my oldest coming up to me one day in the kitchen when he was about 4 or so and saying, "Can I have some...," and then he made this sound that is something akin to an angry Sleestack (if you're younger than 35, you probably have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about here; go Google Land of the Lost. Stupid show from the early 70's. Let it be said, though, that, if you were a young lady back in the day, you wanted nothing more to be chased by dinosaurs and rescued from Sleestack by Will. He was so hot!). I digress. So, my son makes this gargling/choking sound at me and I can't for the life of me figure it out. He just keeps repeating it. What I finally figure out is that he wants some whipped cream sprayed in his mouth. The choking sound being the sound that it makes when you spray the cream (God, that just didn't sound right).

There was also the night we were having homemade pizza. We like pineapple bits on our pepperoni pizza and, upon breaking out the container, Alex excitedly yells, "I know what those are! Those are pizza lemons!" Of course; what else would they be??

So, the other night, Ryan took his turn. The boys are getting ready for bed, doing the whole pj thing and, naturally, leaving their clothes wherever they see fit. It seems they believe that some magical vaccum comes and picks them up sometime within the next 24 hours and spits them out clean. In an effort to create children that are not complete and total slobs, though, we reminded them to pick them up and "take care of them". Ryan pipes up, "I know where they go; I know where they go! They go in the clothes toilet!" Exactly. Where else would you put clothing that your body has now defiled? The clothes toilet.

I'm so lucky. I've never heard anyone else say that they have a clothes toilet. I must be the first on my block. How rich am I?? I have three!!!

A Smack In the Face

Originally posted 2/23/06; Ryan still won't play catch with anyone
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Don't know why I thought of this but this last summer Ryan did something that just cracked me up. My sister-in-law was over for dinner with her family and this is his very favorite aunt. Her name is Christina but Alex couldn't say that when he was little so she became Aunt Teenie and has been ever since. Well, Ryan loves Teenie almost more than me. He says he loves us both the same ("as big as the garage") but it is a pic of him as a baby with her that he has insisted on having in his room in a frame that says I ♥ My Mommy. Yes, a kick in the gut everytime I enter the room, but I'm learning to live with it.

So, she's here for dinner and we're bbq-ing and eating out on the back patio. While we're waiting for dinner to start, Ryan and Teenie go into the yard to play catch. He has a mitt that's just his size and she's using Barry's. He's done this before with other family members and did as well as most freshly turned (he'd let you know that, too; "freshly turned" he'd say after telling someone he was now 4) 4 year olds do. So, she is tossing the ball underhand to him and he does OK until about the third or fourth throw. Then it comes...the toss that he misses and hits him square in the face. This is a baseball, too. Not some twinky Nerf thing or a wiffleball or something.

It's worth noting here that Ryan is subject to fits of real anger. He's done it since before he could even say real words. He would scream at us in his babble and shake his finger at us and go on and on and then stomp out of the room. Just when you thought you were safe, he'd stick his head around the corner again and go at you again. Very much a "furthermore and another thing" type of deal. As he's gotten older, I swear the boy has been working on his arguing skills. He's got an argument for EVERYTHING.

So, he gets hit in the face and the sweet little boy that began playing catch with his beloved Teenie contorts into this evil little beast. Something akin to the movie Gremlins. His twisted little face looks at her and screams, "You hit me! You suck at this game!" And then he marches off. It was probably one of the most priceless moments in his little life. He hasn't played catch since.

She's Gone

Originally posted 2/21/06
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At about 12:27 am eastern time this morning, my dear Gram passed away. I am totally fine and at peace knowing she finally is. Knowing that she is finally, once again looking into the face of her dear son, my dad, that she put in the ground 4 years and 6 days ago.

My Gram was so wonderful and I got the very best of her when I was there recently. That Wednesday when I was there when she was such a chatterbox was the last good day she had and I got it. Selfish? Maybe. I'm OK with being selfish in regards to my time with her. She told me then that she always wanted to be a bird. I told her to spread her wings and just fly. She finally has and I can only guess that the view is full of colors this world has never seen.

Once again, I realize how blessed I am to have had this beautiful bird fly into my life.

The Art of Shopping

Originally posted 2/15/06; I'm not so sure that Ryan understands shopping any better now.
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So, yesterday, Ryan and I are out at JoAnn Fabric picking up 50% Valentine's Day stuff for our Cupid's Cafe dinner at home (don't roll your eyes; it was fun and was done mostly for the kids). I was hoping to find some little dish to put my homemade pink butter in but didn't find anything so we went over to Tuesday Morning. We go in and walk every single aisle in the store but don't find anything so we leave. We aren't even off the sidewalk in front of the store and he says to me, rather indignantly, "That's it? We went in there and aren't going to buy anything? What is that about?" I just looked at him and told him, "You're a boy. You don't understand the art of shopping."

My Gram Is Dying

Originally posted 1/26/06; Gram passed close to a month after this being written. She would've turned 94 a couple of weeks ago. Gosh, I miss her.
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Life can be a real bitch sometimes. Watching someone you love die is worse. My gram is dying and I have to go say goodbye. How do you do that??? It's been nearly a year since I've seen her. Was in NY for her 90th birthday last March. She always said she would live to be 100 and we never doubted her. Cancer sucks.

My gram is a jewel. She is full of love and wrinkles. She is shorter than me and I love that. She holds your face with both hands when she kisses you. She rubs noses. She watches clouds and she's the best at it. She is full of mischief. She thinks she has a sister. She doesn't. She thinks the lady that takes care of her is nice. It's one of her own granddaughters and she doesn't remember her. She took me to Disneyworld when I was 12. Just me and her. She went on every ride with me and I still have the stuffed Thumper that she bought me. She is cool. Before Barry and I got married, she told me that we could live together as long as we wanted without getting married and even have babies and that was OK. My gram rocks. She tells the best stories. Even when she's talking nonsense. She helped me make my first snowman. I was 2 and it leaned to the side something awful but I have a picture of us with it just the same. When I was 2 she put a ball of yellow play-doh and a ball of blue play-doh in the can together and we closed it up tight right before I went to bed. In the morning there was a ball of green in there. My gram is magic, you know. My gram is dying and I have to say goodbye to her. My gram is the color pink when it is soft and and smells sweet. She is radiant when she wears that color. She is radiant even when she's wearing something else. My gram would fight tigers to protect her family. But she can't now. She loves ice cream. A lot. Me, too. She has the Hartman nose. So does my son Ryan. My gram loved my dad something fierce and misses him so much. So do I. She has grace and style like no woman I have ever met or heard of. She has a laugh that makes fairies giggle. She makes everyone that meets her fall in love with who she is. She's just that way. My gram is dying and I have to say goodbye to her. I don't even know if she'll know who I am.

Losing someone precious is like having your guts torn out. I leave on Sunday to fly east. I will have five days to tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me and how much I will miss her. How much I'm thankful for who she is and who she's made me. How do you say that to someone that doesn't even know you?