Drag Queens Never Die

Well, after the last couple of rather emotionally heavy blogs, it's certainly time for one that's a little more lighthearted, isn't it? I've been meaning to write about this for awhile but simply didn't have the right photos to accompany it. And, really, it's all about the photos. It really would make no sense without them. Not that I'm claiming this will make sense with them, but you get the picture. hahahahaha "get the picture"!! Oh, gosh, I just slay me!

So, here's where our story starts...once upon a time there was a girl addicted to reality shows. OK, not ALL reality shows but quite a few. She will admit to the fact that it all started with the first season of The Real World back in 1992. For a girl that couldn't get enough of psychology and sociology classes in college, this show was a dream come true. A grand social experiment played out on Wednesday night at 9! Hurray! Unfortunately, after the second season it all kind of fell to crap.

But then, as if Heaven had heard her prayers, Survivor appeared! This was even better! More people! A scheming game mentality! No food, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury! Like Robinson Crusoe, it's primitive as can be!

**Side note - if you didn't get that reference, then you clearly did not grow up in a time when 60's reruns were all you had to watch after school each day.

As I was saying, Survivor burst on the scene and she entered nirvana. With it's success, though, a multitude of other reality shows hit the scene, most of which, she could entirely do without. But, then it happened. She found herself unwittingly being consumed by shows she never thought she would be watching...America's Next Top Model, Design Star, Top Design, Biggest Loser, Amazing Race, Project Runway, Tabatha's Salon Takeover, Shear Genius...the list goes on.

As painful as it is to admit, I confess that I am said girl. Yes, I could watch marathons of any one of the above mentioned shows and be a happy camper. The icing on my cake is still Survivor, though. I'm rather rabid about watching that on Thursday nights. I have to admit that I only watched the first half of the season premier last night, though. I can watch the other half on On Demand today and I really didn't want to miss Jim finally proposing to Pam on The Office, which I was sure was going to happen (and it did) and it was well worth it.

Anyway, what does this all have to do with drag queens, you ask? It is part of the title after all and all I've done is rattle on about reality TV. Well, several weeks ago on Project Runway they did a challenge where they had to design for various drag queens. It was one of my favorite episodes because, and here's another tidbit of my warped psyche, I'd love to be a drag queen. Oh, to be a man and 6 feet tall and dressing like a woman! Have you ever seen Connie and Carla? Not that great of a movie but LOVE it! The hair, the makeup, the outfits, the SHOES! I recommend the movie Kinky Boots, too, by the by. It's based on a true story and, if you love shoes and drag queens, it's a must see. I digress...

So, Project Runway...drag queens...fabulous outfits... So the guest judge for the episode is Rupaul. I love her. Beautiful. Spicy attitude. Amazing body. Great voice. I was excited to see the diva at the end of the show. But then they showed her. My God in Heaven! WHAT has happened to her? I mean, it's been awhile since I've seen her, but wow! She's certainly looked better. The disturbing thing, though, is that the first thing I thought of when I saw here was the morlocks from the movie Time Machine. Gads! Judge for yourself!

I mean, REALLY! The hair is rather similar, the sunken cheeks, the mouth. My God, they're even wearing the same necklace!!!! I still love her, though. Even though she's a morlock wearing makeup. And, now I know that drag queens never die. They just become morlocks.

Friends Are Friends Forever...Sometimes

So, I'm at one of my new part time gigs today, which is cleaning for a family that lives across town. They are a young couple (translated = younger than me) and have a little girl that is about a year and a half old. They own an advertising firm and work from home and the balance between work and housework was not balancing so well so that leads to me being in their home cleaning.

This morning I'm there cleaning and I'm bustling around doing dishes and floors and laundry and toy pickup, etc. There is a VeggieTales CD in the stereo and I'm listening to kids' songs and church youth group type songs that I haven't heard in ages. Then, on comes the VT version of Michael W. Smith's song Friends Are Friends Forever. Not to date myself but I was at that MWS concert when he released that...ahem...album. And, yes, it really was an ALBUM. I think I still have it, too. Well, it was a little weird to hear the Veggie crew singing it to begin with, but I also don't think I've really listened to that song in over 20 years. It's a sweet, make you bust out in tears song and, if memory serves, it was written in response to a letter about a young girl who had passed away and the friends she left behind. Thus the lyrics, which, if you aren't familiar with them, go something like this:

Friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never 'cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go in the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not to long to live as friends.

Moving on, the song was played at countless end of whatever's to make the girls all cry about not seeing their friends in what seemed like a lifetime but what was, in actuality, about a 3 month summer vacation. I think the song took on so many different meanings to so many different people over time and, of course, to me, today, yet another.

It made me think a lot about friends and those that stick around and those that don't. The one's that give and the one's that only take. I'd like to think that I've always given in my friendships but I'm sure there's someone out there that only saw me as a taker. I hope it's not true but I wouldn't be surprised if it were. I know I've been the giver on many occasions and I try to take my turn as the taker but sometimes it's hard to even admit that you NEED to be a taker for a moment or two lest the other see you only as that. I had one friend that I remember thinking was my best friend in the whole world. She and I just got each other or so I thought. But then there was the fateful time when I needed her; REALLY needed her and she just wasn't there for me. And then I found out from a mutual friend that, whenever we were all out together and I would leave to just go to the bathroom, all kinds of foulness would spill from her mouth about me, much of which wasn't true. I ended that relationship and it has made me sad over the years but I also realize I'm much healthier for it.

Anyway, what the song REALLY made me think about the most, though, are the friends I had when I was in college. The Bible college. The college where we were all asked/told how "good" people acted and spoke and dressed; what we were to discuss and believe and not believe and how we should respond to __________ and...the list goes on. Well, I'm not the same girl I was then in many ways but I also AM the same girl I was back then in many ways. There was an "incident" after I finished school that caused me to fall from favor in the school's eyes and I basically told them to bite me. What was interesting, though, was the reaction from my "friends". There were those that stood right by my side. Never mind how they felt about the "incident"; they believed in ME and remained my friend. Those people were not necessarily in the majority, though. No, the vast majority just quietly shunned me. People who I thought were my friends wouldn't even say hello to me. Even when I said hello to them first. It was crazy and I would like to think that it was because we were all so young really and, well, stupid. What I've found over the years, though, is that age really has nothing to do with it.

In just the last year I've had the good fortune of finding several old friends online. It's always fun to find those people that meant so much to you when you were younger that you haven't seen or heard from in years. You've spent countless moments wondering what ever became of them, where they are, what they're doing, are they married, do they have children, etc. We find each other and it's all exciting until they ask me about where life has taken me in the last 15 or so years and I tell them. And then, it seems that because I don't fit the Bible college mold (which, by the by, is severely warped) that we were all being pressed into so many years ago, I am unworthy of a response. "Oh, gosh, well, I didn't know that you actually were a sinner. If I had known that, I probably wouldn't have been friends with you in the first place. Excuse me while I avoid responding to any of your emails." Umm...like I said in a previous post, we should all, ALL of us, be wearing alphabet sweaters if we're going to start pointing out the ways in which we have fallen short of perfection.

So, yeah...

Friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them (unless of course you admit that you sin and, in that case, the Lord isn't the Lord of your friendship????)
And a friend will not say never 'cause the welcome will not end (unless you are not perfect because then I don't want to associate myself with you because other people might think less of me and it's all about how I look to others!)
Though it's hard to let you go in the Father's hands we know (actually, it is pretty easy to flake on you but..."I'll pray for you")
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends (unless you are caring and giving and make me laugh and have always been supportive of me but choose to be honest about what's happened to you in the last 15 years; then all bets are off)

On the flip side of all of this, though, are the friends that are still my friends; both the people that I've been in touch with all through the last 15 and those that I've reconnected with that understand that life happens and you just are who you are. Because I'm still smart and can have an intellectual conversation with you that will leave us both feeling like we didn't just waste the last half hour of our lives. Because I'm still damn funny and I can make you laugh and, chances are, you make me laugh, too; maybe even enough to make me snort or cry or pee. Because you know that you could call me in the middle of the night because you just needed someone to talk to and that I would listen. Because I'd still give to you whatever I could to make your life better. Because I still remember the value of a friend. The people that remember all of that, they are the people from my past that I'm finding mean the most to me. Why? Because they are the friends that never said never and who's welcome did not end.

"Of course, you don't believe in abortion..."

As some folks know, I've been looking for a part-time job (or two) recently. Having both breadwinners in the house being self-employed kind of sucks in a down economy. Add to that the fact that one of them is in real estate and it's an even bigger hit. I've been working at home for four years and it's hard to think of going back to a real job. One of the first things the kids said to me was, "Does this mean you're not going to be a stay at home mom anymore?" That'll break your heart into about a thousand and one pieces right there. I've been there when someone got sick and didn't have to "arrange" to work from home to take care of them. I've been there for field trips and picking up from school and all of that. It's been marvelous and I'm doing everything in my power to STILL be able to do all of those things.

Anyway, I recently went to an interview for a job that I'm fairly certain I won't get just because I was honest and I don't fit the mold they're looking for. Whatever. It was for a part time admin for a Christian non profit. Honestly, working for a religious based organization would never be my first choice of job but I did think that, despite the religious bent, what they are doing is a fantastic thing and well needed. Anyone that knows me...REALLY knows me...knows that, despite my distance from any organized church and my unwillingness to identify with any one church, I still have faith, I still believe in God, I still believe the Bible is His inspired Word, etc. Given my experiences with God's people, though, in the last 15 or so years, I've certainly lost faith in THEM in general. I have, in fact, found more compassion and acceptance from what some would call the most God-LESS people over the last several years. What I have seen from "God's people" is hypocricy to it's fullest extent. What makes a group of people so quick to brand another as unworthy? Aren't we all sinners? Don't we all have a scarlet letter to wear? Let's see, that's A for Adultry, B for Blasphemy, C for Coveting... Let's be honest, we should all be wearing Sesame Street alphabet shirts.

Anyway, I'm climbing higher and higher onto a soapbox and diverging from the actual incident that precipitated this blog. What else is new, right? So, I'm in this interview because (A) my availability suits the position, (B) I have office administration skills that, quite frankly, would rock any boss's world, and (C) my resume shows that I graduated from a private Bible college that is one of, if not THE, best in the nation. So, I'm being interviewed and we're talking about my skills and I'm letting them know how I would manage the tasks they have and how my skills would be a tremendous help to them (I'm not lying here, they really would be) and we get to the religious part. Because they are a non profit, they can ask those kinds of questions and I knew they would come up.

So, the first question out of the gate is, "Tell me about your walk with Christ." Hmmm...my "walk with Christ"? I love cliches. I don't like to think of it so much as a "walk" but more of a journey. Sometimes we drive, sometimes we skip, sometimes we power walk, sometimes we just lay in bed and think about the situps we should be doing. Anyway, I tell the woman that "to be honest, it's been about...16 years since I've been to church." THAT freaked her out. "Oh," she says, "uh...OH." I explained why; I explained how some of God's "higher ranking" people have treated me in various situations; I explained that, when it all comes down to it, it's about a personal relationship (for lack of a better, non cliche-ish phrase) than it is about being "right" in someone else's eyes. I explained that I didn't believe that God cared whether I wore all black on a regular basis or not. That He doesn't care if I love to go dancing. That he doesn't care if my hair is purple or my head is half shaved (it's not, by the way, but what would it matter if it was?); that being friends with someone doesn't have to mean you espouse to everything they do and vice versa. Anywho, she seemed satisfied enough with my answer to not count me out yet and move on.

The next statement/question, though, is where this all comes together. It's one of a few hot buttons for me in the religious community and I'm sure they're still talking about "that one woman that came in for an interview". Good. I hope they talk a lot about me and what I had to say because I think it bears contemplating. She says, "Of course, you don't believe in abortion then?" She says it less like a question than a statement. I'm sure she was sure of what my Bible girl answer would be. Her face, though, upon hearing my reply, was stunning. "Actually," I said quite confidently and matter of factly, "I'm pro choice." Silence. Add an H for heretic to my letterman's sweater. I explained that I felt it was wrong for the government, ANY government, to tell a person what they could or couldn't do with their own body. *sidebar - yes, I know that the argument goes that the woman is doing something not to HER body but to someone else's but, let's be honest, if you're laying on a bed with your feet in stirrups, something's being done to YOUR body.* I fell short of bringing up the Chinese government and how they regulate how many children a woman can have, etc. but explained that, when screaming and protesting and picketing about how pro choice is sooo wrong and Godless, I think too many people forget that the reason we even have choice over ANYTHING in our lives is because, right from the Bible they are beating upon, God GAVE it to us! Yes, that's right my "brothers and sisters in the Lord", choice is a God given right! I told her that I believe we are given a very big responsibility in being given the right to make our own choices and that many of the choices in front of us require us to use the brains in our heads to make the best decisions we can. However, that is OUR responsibility and not the government's. Did I really answer her question? No, not exactly; but that's not the point. The point is that too many Christians are still walking down a long, narrow path simply because of the enormous blinders they have been told to wear. I think I kind of scared this woman, though. Geez, give a girl a Bible education and then slap her in the face with it and it becomes a dangerous thing.

So, anyway, if you disagree with my position, that's totally cool. It's your choice. Right? I would ask of you, though, to consider for a moment your own children if you have any. Is your firstborn a girl? If so, consider throwing her in a river to drown. Do you have more than one child? Consider giving away all but the first boy. It sounds trite but I challenge you, if you dare, to really think about what you would feel if you were forced into that situation. Unable to choose the outcome of your family for yourself. It's so NOT about whether you believe abortion is right or wrong. It's about exercising your God given ability to choose and to make the best choice for yourself. Because only YOU can choose what is right for YOU. No one else can and no one else should choose what is right for another person's life.

Finally, the letter for the day is not C for Choice but T for Think. Being pro choice doesn't mean the same thing as being pro abortion. It means what it says. Pro CHOICE. Thank God for the choices you are able to make everyday. Your choice to decide what grocery store to go to. Your choice of what career path to follow. Your choice of housing and friends and clothing and... And, especially if you're a woman, thank the judicial system for Roe v. Wade and giving you your right to choose.